Fo Shizzle

ohh my hello!! I have missed my blog..I have been soo busy. Not really..but sounded good. So where should I begin..the last time I blogged was before thanksgiving. Soooo lets start there..I didnt work thursday or friday...hell yah..so lets just say my liver was a mess for the whole weekend.

Thanksgiving- kinda postponed until this weekend..which I cant wait cause I havent had carbs all week other than beer..and I need carbs to have a personality..so therefore mashed potatoes and rolls..get in my belly!

My sister and her husband and my best friend baby B..went to Pennsylvania to be with his family ..so technically thats all the family we have, mom decided she didnt wanna cook for just 4 people.

So what do we do??? We go to shoneys! It's just me, mom, dad, my uncle and my grandma. My cousin came too and brought her new fiance. awesome time. I had to be on my best behavior..don't want to slip up and cuss in front of my grandma.

These damn holidays..I'm gonna admit..are not coming easy for me. I confess I do miss doggydaddy alot. Not so much us, I miss that his grandpa made me a badass pumpkin roll for the past 7 years, and I really needed him sitting at the table with me when the guys sitting beside of us we wearing shirts that said fo shizzle on the front and my nizzle on the back..the other one said rock out with your cock out..and they were with their mawmaw and papaw..I notice silly stuff like that..but doggydaddy always noticed it first. I would always be like omg omg look..and he's all like dude I already seen that shit.

We tried out a new bar Saturday night. And this bar made me realize something. I really like biker dudes. Wow ..kinda caught me off guard. But there were some pretty fly tattoooed motha effa's up in there. So my new goal is to find me a biker dude..and join a biker gang. I told my friends I'm gonna turn into one of those hardcore biker chicks. Ohh I can see it now!! I'm gonna get mom+dad=love tattooed on my arm. Yahhh scary huh??

Where has my mind gone...I got my heart BROKEN yesterday. That was the first thing I was going to talk about. As you already read in this blog. I am in love with my vag doctor. Yes ..I make up stuff just to go get fingerbanged by him. Anyways...I went yesterday cause I had to get that Gardisil shot. Some people say that shot will kill you, but I have to see him. And for some reason I feel like I cant just walk in and say hi?

Anyways, he walks in the room and he's all like "Misty, we aren't doing an exam today..put your clothes back on and I'll be back" ffuuuuuck...ok ok I didnt go that far..but maybe if I would have taken my clothes off he would have felt the need to take his off...Ill try that next week when I all of a sudden get a bladder infection.

Yaddy yaddy..he's asking me how I am .fine fine blah blah..I ask him if he's ready for xmas..and if he got my present yet...and he replys with this....(UGHHH)

"well i dont think my girlfriend would like it if I bought you something"

I didnt one of those really hard swallows...and refused to get upset..I used my awesome smartass personality and said..."You don't have to tell her"

I did say one other stalker thing...I had to do the pee in a cup aka pee on ur hand thing..they always make you do that I guess or maybe I'm special. But doc said you are extremely dehydrated....sooo I used the opportunity to ask him if he wanted to go have a drink?? he shook his head...but the plus side is he did smile..ohh I am sooooo in!!!!

Omgg....needless to say..I see getting served with a restraining order soon....

oh my oh my ...what has gotten into me? I have been super feisty this smorning and as a matter of fact it's getting on my damn nerves. I always tell myself I'm going to be a meaner person..omg wasn't I just talking about that in my last post..well eff it. I don't like being like this..it sucks I even took a couple extra prozacs and I'm still telling people to get outta my face.

One of the guys that does work for us called me this smorning...for like the 8th time. And he's all like ohh gosh misty I'm sorry to bother you again...so I'm all making faces on the other side of the phone like blah blah what the fuck is it this time.

And out of the blue...my thoughts became words I said..it's ok you get on my nerves all the time anyways. wow yup I said that out loud to an employeee..yikes..it would be different if I would have said it sarcastically..but I couldnt even play it off.

So what's my deal? Lord I wish i knew ..I think it's the fact that I've come to realize that I am spending christmas alone this year. Last year I was alone...but it wasnt reality yet. But I'm fine being alone..just kinda bothered by the fact that Doggydaddy used to always get me kick ass presents...and not gonna get that anymore. damn. now thats my problem.

One more bitchy thing...I get drunk and make new friends. I give them my number but don't bother to get theirs cause I don't want to be responsible for actully calling. But these people really like me and they really call...point is ...leave and effin voicemail because I'm not answering ur random ass number cause I dont do small talk. If you're gonna call me ..text me first and tell me who you are. Then I'll consider it....Thanks.

weeeeekend comee backkk..i miss you

Wow...no way in hell was that the weekend? I didn't even see it. I feel like I just got off work on friday..next weekend should be better..it's 4 days long. What oh what will i do??

Let's get yall effin updated...want to??

I am officially on Thanksgiving Break from school!!! very exciting..but would be a lot better if I was off work too...just gotta work till wednesday shouldnt be that bad!

Diet- I have been on a diet for what seems like and eternity eating only salad monday through friday..i've lost 8 lbs ..but I think i gained 9 today..cause I ate a big ol fat hamburger. Back on track tomorrow. Maybe if I start working out I could double that number...haaa I'll get right on that. Sex is a good workout...maybe I need a "friend"

Can't wait to eat all that turkey n shit...so i'll only do diet until T-day.

Went out this weekend of course cause I'm a freakin lush..nothing exciting happened other than me realizing that I'm getting too old to do what I do..but it never stops. I go to the bar so I don't meet the "one" Bahaaaha I don't know bout that though..one of my friends met her husband in a bar and they have been married for a bout 3 years and 2 kids. Sooo hey it could happen..I hope not though. I'm avoiding finding love until I'm 30..cause quite frankly I'm in love with myself right now and don't have time to share myself.

There was these girls at the bar dancing..now don't get me wrong..it is a dancing bar. And I shake what my momma gave me...once I catch a double super buzz. But these girls were nasty hoes. Not high class like me and my friends. alright alright..that was taking it a lil far. let me elaborate on these biiiitches.

skank number one...every bit of 6 foot 6. which would totally work if you werent a skank cause that could be hot if you werent looking for a boyfriend. but this girl is wearing..please make a mental picture..her wrangler tapered wrangler mom jeans...a white tube top that was pit stained bigger than shit..and of course if I'm leaving the house wearing my finest..i gotta grab my tennis shoes and go walk through a puddle of mud right? yah not kidding..she was wearing mud with a lil bit of tennis shoes on the side.

her friend..lace black shirt..nothing but a bra underneath..and a muffin top to match. cant even say more..

im not one to judge..lol haha but their clothes wasnt the problem..legs was obviously a stripper. she was doing leg kicks..and then the dallas cowboy jump split thing. and then she would lay on the floor with her legs spread and hump the floor like she was gettin some. and her friend was her prop. i wish i still had my digital camera..faaack.

On a lighter not...did I mention I don't have school alll WEEEEEK!!!!!!

girl ...you craaaazy

OHHH EM GEEEEE...ya'll remember back in the day when I was telling you about all those tests I was taking for my ADHD/Bipolar/CRAAAAZY. This right here sums it up. Anyways...my final appointment was supposed to be yesterday. Results were in..and it was time for my diagnosis. Aka time to get drugs and be normal. Appointment at 5:30...bitch calls me at 4:45...hers how our convo goes..we'll call her Slunt...

Me: Hello

Slunt: Hi..sorry I waited so long to call you, but we need to postpone your appointment.

Me: What? Why? Ive got finals coming up?

Slunt: Well theres been a slight problem with your test..

Me: WTF...you're kidding , there ain't noway in hell I'm taking that thing again.

Slunt: No no...we have you're test 95% done..theres just this one part..

Me: one part?

Slunt: yes..the test has calculated with the result of something we have never seen before

Me: you gotta be kidding me..so I am crazy no doubt?

Slunt: Well it doesn't mean that...we just have to get someone else to look into your results.

Me: You can't even tell me whats wrong a lil bit?

Slunt: No, I don't want to worry you. Let's just wait until someone else looks at it.

Me: !*#*$*$$*$*!!! and @$*%*%*##@#@

Slunt: ok?

Me: alright whatever..call me later to set up a time

Slunt: Well we will be out of the office for 2 weeks for Thanksgiving. Ill call you when we get back.

Me: !*#*%(@#( )@#($($($(

CLICK!!! yah not cool right..So maybe I'll get my test results back and get everything straighted out before next year. Considering that is only a month away. This is just insane. Straight up insane..I guess kinda like me.

AND THE POLICEMAN SONG WAS ON!

This stupid weekend! Why couldnt it last one more day!! 2 more weeks and there will be a 4 day weekend...jackpot biiiiitches!!!!


Lets see....
Friday night...was gonna go out then decided not to.. THEN decided to go ahead and head out ..fun mistake. Go out with one of my friends that claims guys stalk her if she sees them in more that one place. Good friend of mine but damn ...its just a coincidence. End of the night..paranoid friend goes home with this dude she is talkin to aka basically bangin..and I get a ride home from a friend.

He drives a jacked up truck and I'm all like wow it would be cool to just randomly go 4wheelin..sooo it just so happens there is this road they are building that goes up the holler...kinda blocked off with a gate..we go around though cause we are badasses. yaddy yaddy..nothing cool up there..we come back down and get going on our merry little way..and the sirens song was on..they said put your hands up we're playing your song. yes....we are getting pulled over by not 1...not 2..but 3 city cops.

Luckily ol boy I was with didn't drink...they do all that bullshit and I get to sit there and be wasted cause I totally wasn't drinking. The cop was checking his ID..and both of our windows are down cause thats what the 5-0 said to do on the intercom..

I'm giggly..cause I have an obsession with cops..love the uniform..so I'm all llike maybe I can give him my number..ol boy drivin is like Misty theres a cop standing at your window. I look over...yup that one didnt walk back to the cruiser..I said well aren't you sneaky.he didnt like me or think that was funny

Saturday night BORING!!!!!!!!!!! Went out again with another friend..we usually always have a good time..but it was just a shitty night socially. Everyone I guess fell asleep..and we were the only champs that made it out to drink..alone..lol

I need a new life...this one is getting old. I also need a rich boyfriend that is hot. And a personal assistant to take care of everything for me, like make me drinks and sandwiches. I've gotta go to bed yall...this post was absolutely pointless..but you are more well informed of exciting my life is...Bahahaha

If you dont like it....don't look

MY MIND IS RACING!!! seriously I bet if there was a race right now I would win...my thoughts are out of control. I'll be completely honest with you..I'm a little overwhelmed at the moment and it is causing a little bit of anxiety. And I dont have a damn doctor that can give me some xanax either. Anyways...enough complaining..I get to complain for one second a day..that was it..so I have to feel better..it's the law!!

Alright I just need to share a little funny story with how my sick sense of humor gets me in trouble. I like to joke around..a lot ..I do not really have a serious bone in my body..what fun is that. My family doesn't like it..but that's me and they have to love me.

I am on facebook...and I dont really use it to talk to people..I use it to stalk basically. Well it's like keeping in touch..but I don't tell them they look great and all that. Well there are people on there that I talk to ..but I have over 350 friends..and talk to about 10. Kinda like my address book in my blackberry. ;)

I do status updates to purely entertain, most of the time they arent even true..and if they are you wouldn't know. Most of the time...they are along the lines of ..."blazin that shit up with johnny hopkins and sloan kettering" or random quotes from my distorted brain...

Point to my story...

I cuss a lot....a lot lot..therefore a few of my family members ask me to be their friend..therefore I say hell no..cause I cuss and they go to church. But there are some family members I accept just because. Friends from the beginning..they see all my cussin and blazin stories...and by the way I dont even smoke wacky weed so technically I can talk about it..

But one bad day..and my bad words are like the devil. If I want to drop the F bomb I can..because that's why my page is private..kinda like a rated R movie..if you don't want to see the adult material ..don't buy the ticket...and sit through the whole movie and then complain cause you seen weiners and vag.

My F bomb caused a lil disturbance in my family...All of a sudden I have mental problems because I say dirty words. So in the other words....faaaaack put me in a straight jacket bitches ;)

Well Hello!!! It's time I get my ass back on the bloggity wagon. I fell off. Ok so let's start with an update of my life. Last weekend, Halloweeeeeen Party..I think I posted a pic..yulp I did..not very good one. Fun party..weird night..love it when nights are unexplainable.


Still on the effin diet...still bitchin..still wanting a damn pizzza. Gonna get it this weekend...u bet ur bottom dolla.

I have recently mentioned workin in the hood here ...but the other night things got a lil craaazy. A guy got murdered across the street...drive by...yah seriously what is this ..where are the goodfellas. Not a joke that a guy got killed..that is sad..but what on earth is happening to this city. goodness...same night of the drive by..my office gets broken into. get to work and the back wall is all busted down and the door is broken..yikes..do i need to say seriouslyyyy??? we have no idea who it was..but I'm doing my own little private investigation ...I would love to be a PI..that would be soo much fun. And I also want to be one of the guys on CSI ...that would rock my world.

I'm so not done talkin..but I'm off to school....to make my brain bigger!! HA ;)

Well Halloween weekend is over...went to a party last night. Lots of random costumes...heres a pic of me and my girls...they were sluts..I was stoned.

Then came this..and ruined my whole night...
Blackberry in the toilet...badass...never knew how much that thing meant to me..i mean holy shit..i cried...

More on the party tomorrow...I gotta go to bed ..this time change thing is wicked. ;)

Everclear and Snipes

I guess you could call me a social drinker..cause im very social...at least once a day I try to be social! ;) One of my favorite things to do of all time is talk about old times and old friends. Most of them arent around here anymore ..and if they are we have lost contact. But I was just recently thinking about the first time I got drunk...Let me take you through the evening..I remember all of this stuff like it was yesterday..well of course some of it is a lil blurry..I guess from the beginning I've been one to remember stuff when I'm tanked.

My best friend..Turtle.. always had us girls stay at her house, because her parents were cool with everyone smoking..except her ..LOL naive. We would start making our plans on Monday what we were gonna do..keep in mind this is Junior High!!! yah we started early...eff off...Friday night comes..after a long week of passing notes in the hall...with the things at the end that say BFF and iloveblahyouloveblah in that lil design...and the sorrysosloppy with the big S. c/m and w/b.

Go home get ready..kinda nervous cause you just don't know what is gonna happen ..maybe the boy down the street with sneak up and we can french kiss. maybe we will find a couple snipe cigarretes worth firing up...

We get to her house...few other girls..we talk about what happened at school and what boy we like that week and BOOOYAAAAAA one girl pulls out a bottle of EVERCLEAR!!! (for those that dont know...it's 190% alcohol..vodka is around 80% I think)this is like the coolest effin thing ever..we are such grown ups right now...we dont know what the f-bomb everclear is. but we know we are getting drunk.

Her parents go to sleep...we sneak up and get the orange juice that was suppost to be for breakfast and took a couple juice boxes outta the lunchables. And grab some chips and stuff obviously to make it look like we werent just thirsty... Her dad was a drinker so down in the basement.. there are shot glasses galore. so now we are all badasses with our own shot glasses and juice boxes. I brought the whole lunchable because I love them.

We take our first shot..and I think I died for a second. I think everyone did. We are in the 8th grade and we are drinkin that shit like its grape drink. Our little bodies would have probably got drunk off of half a shot..but we decided to be hot shit and drink all kinds.

Prank calling... was the thing to do..so we spent most of our drunk evening calling people...and then we would go outside and play on the swingset and roll around in her yard with our sniped cigarettes and laugh and laugh until the sun started to come up...our double super buzz started to wear off so we went back to the basement...with no windows so it's pitch black...great way to sleep away the day!! in her liquor smelling basement!! wow did we have fun...do you remember the first time you got drunk?? well remember...and remember-remember..two different things!!=)

To this day I can't even think about Everclear without getting a lil sick...I think I get drunk at the thought...I could talk about this shit all day....

Zac for the crew

I haven't had my prozac for 2 motha effin weeks...so I'm a lil on edge to say the least. Don't get me wrong...I'm not cured of all my mental issues..I'm just tired of being fat and I'm blaming it on the Zac because I never take blame for anything. Prozac is probably the best thing ever...if you havent ever taken it..strongly suggest you do it. I've been gettin all high and shit on them for about 4 years now. It's like a magic lil pill God sends down from heaven that says here..take this and you will be happy. Well God has to be right..so I'm obviously gonna take the shit. Well what do ya know..God is a GOD!!! that shit is amazing..I don't even cry. Kinda strange but cool. Someone could punch me in the face and I would be like ..nice arm..wanna beer? It's absolutely amazing I tell ya. It puts illegal drugs to shame. Well some of them. But it has made me fat...not the pizza..or cake...the pill did it. ;)



ATTENTION YA'LL

I had just noticed that this post was a draft that I never got around to finishing...I started back on my prozac today..I'm just not cool when I'm not all high and shit. This has been kinda tough not being on prozac my mind is a lil peculiar..is that even the right word. Anyways..people are just starting to piss me off and I have to fix this before its too late and I do something drastic like get myself in jail for assault. Not really ..but maybe.

It's finally friday..and I am bored as heck here at the office. I am the only one here today..and people arent paying rent so therefore I have nobody to talk to. I'm soo ready for the weekend...seems like it took 3 thousand years to get here... I hope it's gonna be an interesting weekend, we will see!! Have a great one!!!

O M GEEEEEE

Did i just move my blog again??? Wow I'm never gonna make any friends! Maybe this will be the last time...I dont know..I just can't seeem to sit still and find the right layouts and all the cool stuff I wanna do. And I dont have a friggin clue what I wanna do..I have spent all day lookin at this shit..I NEED A LIFE!!! ok im going to class but just wanted to clarify what I was doing and I am a weirdo! ;)

hey baby send me a pic of your....

Sexting. yes. lame. Some people do it and think its cool...thats cool whatever gets you off. literally. Last week in my psych class...which I had at least 18 epiphanes. I'll so tell you about those later..but first I need to let you know about our class interuption. Lady comes in and we are just about to get a smoke break...3 hour class..gotta piss and smoke..so we are all like lady c'mon can't this wait...she's all serious ..we're thinkin the mascots been stolen or something saved by the bell'ish..Well basically it was a warning..something very dangerous was going on on the campus..SEXTING!!!! I was all like you gotta be kidding me right? She wasn't. We listened to her talk for 15 minutes about how it was illegal and they don't want it on the campus. I blacked out for a second and went back to a time in highschool when we all got in trouble for drawing a penis and a vag on a note and gave it to someone. ohhh what I wouldnt give to be sittin in the principals office for smoking in the bathroom..anyways ..Is this seriously happening? This is college right? and we are getting yelled at for sexting?? and who does that by the way? I would never even send DoggyDaddy a naked picture because who knows who would get ahold of his cell.....anyways dont send naked pics on campus they will take you to jail!!!

get a gps like me so you dont drive through the building

I swear sometimes I think God has given me this job as some sort of practical joke. HAHA Thats a good one God.. hold on I'll let you finish...but I think balloon boy was the best hoax this year. Do you ever feel like people can't be as dumb as they really are...seriously though I am by no means a genius..or do I have much street smarts...But at least when I talk to people I make it seem as if I do!

I think I've talked about my job before..but I am located in the not so good part of town..so not to stereotype or anything but there are nothing but freaks and skanks round herrrr. Lets take this most recent lady that I just got off the phone with..she calls and she's looking for one of our buildings...I'm horrible with directions I probably couldn't even tell you how to get to the bathroom in my office. But this place I do know where it is..the street is Washington Avenue..the street goes all the way through the town..sure maybe it's split up by something. ok here it goes...

freak: "girrrrlfraaand I think I'm lost"

me: " ok well tell me where you are trying to go"

blah blah..she explains it...and I make sure she is even on the east end..

skank: "these houses only go up to 1500's"

me: "well the road is not over. it continues on the other side of the capital"

skank: she says ohhh ok..so do i need to drive through the capital?"

whoa whoa..surely she doesnt mean that..but yes she did..I even gave it a thought and was like maybe she didnt mean that...then she flips out..."well how the hell am I supposed to get over there to that side then?"

I'm all like muting the phone and giggling at someone that is dumber than me..I get back on the phone and explain to her how to drive around the capital and then you turn back on washington and the numbers will resume.

It's been such a frustrating week talking to these people..maybe I'm being irrational, but some people just need their nose all blooodied. I'm grouchy because I started a friigggin diet on monday. So technically I'm effing starving. There ain't nothing like a piece of lettuce for lunch to fill ya up...NOTTT!!!!! 3 days down...and no murder scene...

Let me just start out by saying I do not smoke weed. With that in mind...I wake up this smorning...I'm all gettin ready for work..and all that good stuff ..running late as usual.  I started a diet yesterday, so I make myself make my breakfast even though I'm already 20 minutes late for work..breakfast consists of a protein shake which is good...would be even better if the powder wasnt sitting beside of the damn poptarts. Screw my big ol belly and screwww all of my chins!!! Well here I am mixing up shake like I'm Paula Dean.although I didnt put butter in it..I talk through everything..like I'm on reality tv..I need to get some of my youtubes up here..one day I will be on tv..probably once I get rid of this ass...So I'm holdin down the blend button...staring out the window..and dont realize that the lid is open on the cup...yes its everywhere..screwww protein shake..I hurry up ..tell my dog I'm leaving because she likes that.  Walk out to my car like I'm on top of the world..waving at all the neighbors..I'm super friendly in the morning. 

I'm in the benz..not really benz..just always wanted to say that..I'm diggin and searching for my keys..cant find them anywhere ..then I hear the music and did one of those pauses...waaaait a minute..if the radio is playing...yup I already started my car..hell yah go me .

Get my ass on the road..I cant believe I havent had a chance to blog about my road raging psychoticness yet.  I hate road ragers..they are the most horrible people..and I am one of them.  Don't cut me off..not cool ;) Drivin down Rt 60 some jackass with a trailer decides he wants my lane..I said bitch back off its mine...he said he didnt care ..and shoved me over in the median..thanks jackass!!!  I let you off easy jerk..if I wasnt soo damn late..you would be scared of me..with my middle finger flippin and break checkin you...biotttch..who's the hardass now!!!

I guess it's the time change or something crazzy like that..but I do not remember the sun being in my eyes like that when I drive to work..I don't like the sun in my eyes..and I dont like it messing with my driving because I'm not very good at that anyways. Actully I'm a very good driver..I could probably be a stunt driver..but I'm just not good at paying attention ;)

Wow..can ya'll tell I wrote this blog just basically so I could ramble..there was absolutely nothing in here of any importance! I actully do have a lot of stuff to tell ya'll but just cant think straight right now...blogger block I guess!!

Sunday Funday!

The weekend is over!! BOOOO!!! Seems like it didnt really happen..back to work and school. yuck. 

I think everyone needs to watch this video..it gets better towards the end...this dude is soo awesome..I hope I never get this desperate!!

Hope everyone had a GREAT weekend!

Cigarettes and Fingerbangs

I know I'm a lil bit new to blogging, and everyone probably already thinks I'm a couple nuggets short of a happy meal. But I'm learnin how to be appropriate. But before I go and get all grown up and mature, this is one story I think I need to share..not really anything to joke about but my story is, cause my whole life is a joke.  HAha laugh it up.  Anyways..I had my annual fingerbang appointment, yaddi yaddii no need for details but I ended up having to go back for a colposcopy..not to be confused with colonoscopy..but I've had one of those to. Back to it...I get to my appointment......hold on got add in a very important bit of info..I dont have health insurance..so I get to go to the free place...so I'm walking in all cocky..because the people in there make you not want to sit on the chairs..finally after sitting in the waiting room beside of a 17 year old girl that is making a list with her mom of who her baby daddy could be..not makin this up..her mom even had her little pocket calendar out trying to help her remember..

Finally I hear my name called...time to spread em. First I get weighed..and I try to convince the lady their scale is wrong..she said it's not..I said yes it is.  Blood pressure good.  Piss test...NEGATIVE!!!  WAHOO!! I walk out of the bathroom after I pissed on my hand..aka in the cup...the nurse is nowhere to be found.  I look around for anyone to tell me which room I will be getting some action in...there I see him..Dr McSteeeaaaaamy..boyyyy was he on fire.  At first I thought he was just a random dude in the office..I say excuse me hot stuff...oops I mean sSssir...have you seen my fingerbang nurse..he said mam go right in that room I will be there in a few minutes.  I freeeze for a second..and then I literally do a little schoolgirl skip into the white room.  I sit in there..fixing my hair..touching up my makeup..I even painted my toenails real quick and ...trimmed up my bikini line..those doctors take forever. 

Knock knock....Come in!!!! He introduces himself..I say it's very nice to meet you.  He explains the procedure..I stare into his eyes like we are on our first date.  I was kinda pretending it was...He makes a couple jokes..I do my flirty laugh..that has failed to work for me yet...and down to business we go.  I failed to mention that I already told the nurse in the room that I think he's hot and I was going to make him my boyfriend.  Skip to "put your pants back on mam"...I sit up and say....

"Shewwwww doc...I gotta tell ya..thats the farthest anyone has gotten with me without getting me drunk first"

NO LIE!! The nurse busts out laughing...and then calms herself  and gives me my clothes. He looks at me a little bit strangely...and says well I guess we are done here.  I'm all like...don't you wanna go outside and have a cigarette with me?  He's all like...no thanks.

 Needless to say..I think I may have been the talk of the office for the rest of the day...I've been back for a follow up since then..and he just can't seem to make eye contact with me...I dont know if it's because of our first date, or when I was talking to a girl in her office..I kinda called him out and said ohh look there goes my boyfriend!! Or maybe..just maybe ...it might be because I asked him to be my friend on facebook?? You be the judge!! Keep in mind he approved me and still hasnt deleted me after he's realized who I am...maybe he's just shy! ;)

Think Speak Live Ana-wanna-wanna!

 

This has been a weird couple days of reminiscing..so I wanted to share some things that stick out in my mind thinking about way back when

• Yoohoo - My landlords bought me a 12 pack of this stuff the other day and I think I drank all of them in one day.  Me and my sister used to always get these when we went to the beach...we were the bomb.


• Candy Cigarettes - awesome is all I have to say...Seriously who came up with those..and what were they thinking?


• Bonkers - Not too many have heard of them but we got them at the Dime store..aka GC murphy's ..aka where my grandma worked.


• Blinkers - I called into the radio station the other day ..they were talking about sound effects that you would make for toys...we used to click our tongues to pretend like it was a blinker on our bicycles because they were cars.


• Airplane/Bus - we took alll of the chairs from the dining room and put them in the livingroom and lined them up to make rows..put a different babydoll in each seat.


• Library - All of our books had checkout slips on the back of the book


• Nintendo - seriously...paperboy..mario brothers ..track meet..duck hunt..the princess...should I say more?


• Wolfenstein - OH man the best prison/gun game ever..Loved how the doors opened


• Scrunchies - Not in your hair...on your wrist


• Polly Pockets - I had every single one of them...I wanted to be Polly.


• Seashells - We were kinda like designers ..we used fingernail polish to paint on them then went door to door trying to sell them


• Fundraisers - remember when it was cool to actully be able to go door to door to sell stuff and then get prizes..and that lady came with the roll of 100 $1 bills....OHhhhh AAAHHHH


• Silly putty - nuff said


• Construction worker - we made our own cement by mixing mud and water together to make cement for the cracks


• Kickball - there ain't nothing like a good game of kickball...kids dont play that anymore..they are too high

Wow..the more I think about these toys and games... I start thinking about TV shows that I watched ...

• 90210 - all time favorite..can never be replaced


• Ghostwriter - omg that was a school show that was actully freakin awesome


• Clarissa explains it all - no need to explain


• The adventures of Pete and Pete - remember Petunia ...my ex BF's papaw had a lady on his arm and I always called her Petunia but nobody ever got it.


• DOUBLE DARE!!!!


• Reading Rainbow


• Hey Dude!


• Salute your Shorts - Camp Anawanna..we hold you in our hearts..and when we think about you it makes me want to fart!!


• Alex Mack -I wanted to be magic like her


• NOOZLES - with the koala bears!!


• Mr. Rogers - he's kinda freaky now if ya think about it


• Today's Special - O M G ...dont drop your hat

This is making me kinda pissed that shows suck now..My generation childhood was probably the best. Well in my opinion anyways..please add on anything you can remember...this just made my day ;)

I'm sorry if you thought I cared

 

I work for a property management company..I am the receptionist.  I work on the westside..which is not the best side.  It's gettin pretty scary around here..but I aint scerrrred.  Some of the people we rent to...are not the friendliest people in the world.  Let's take for example today ...This girl comes in to pay her rent..whoa whoa back the truck up...rent is due by the 8th of the month..ok back on the road...I asked her what she was paying and she went nuts...shes all like WELL lil missy I'm payin my rent and this stupid late fee you are charging me because I'm only 4 days late..and I'm all like listen here bitch if you pay your rent on time you wouldnt have to worry about a late fee ...now you pay the damn thing and you shut your mouth before I kick you out of your apartment...Well I actully just told her I don't have a say... and I politely asked her if she would like some trash bags to take home with her ..and asked her to please not punch me in the face or anywhere visible to the public eye...very scary.  But I could take her...back up biotch.  I want to get in a fight so bad..just let out some anger..buuuut I kinda don't wanna get punched back.  :::Note to self...buy punching bag:::

Anyways ...back to job...I am an extremely outgoing super talkative amazingly friendly son of a gun..I know more about our tenants than their doctors ..family members..coworkers...probably anyone that comes across their path..Most of the time I find myself saying "Ohh im sorry..I think I've mislead you to think that I actully care ?"   I've had people telling me about them having sex...doing drugs...how many yeast infections they have had..how big their boyfriends weiner is..Seriously you guys??  Don't get me wrong ..a cool sex story ...or if you want to get high..I would love to hear about what you saw when you were trippin..and it's always cool to know what a guy is workin with...BUT I dont know you..9 out of 10 people that come in here bring their stinch with them and I am required to lysol the whole building at least twice before I can take off my face mask.  There's nothing wrong with bathing daily..at least I dont think so.just do it...but some of these gangstas would rather buy a 24 pack of Milwaukees best than pay for 10 minutes worth of water..There was this house across the street ..a couple and their 27 kids rented it ...I never had to worry about being bored at work when they lived across the way...:::ohh how those were the days:::.. they had at least 2 police cars there a day...and it even came down to a standoff ..right before they moved out..one of the boys living there was on the local "most wanted skank list" ...took  a few minutes to get him outta the house..but they waived a crack pipe in front of the door and he came running out...ok random rumblings are over before I get myself in trouble ..and reveal that I'm a PI and I'm being paid to be nosy...Just call me Officer Private Investigator Corporal  Colonel BADASS!!

Girls and Lame Lamas

WOW...just got done watching the season premiere of ...drumroll--------- THE GIRLS NEXT DOOR!!!! I don't like those girls as of right now...I liked the other girls..but these are just not gonna cut it.  The new number 1 girlfriend..she is a no go.  She needs to quit saying that she isn't Holly.  She needs to just shut up...and those twins are gonna be annoying.  They need boobs if they wanna make it in the house...its all about the boobs ladies.. I can't believe Hef ...he is so still in love with Holly..it's so obvious.  Don't try to trick me...

And what about this LamO show ..yes LAME..who are they...and are they gonna be the new Kardashians.  These people arent good at reality.  I definatly want to be on a reality show..this is my goal in the next year..not gonna happen but im gonna pretend.  Seriousllly...Kristen Cav needs to do a guest appearance on every reality show so that way it will actully be good.  KCav is my girl..

Mini update

Is it weird that I have nothing to say? I'm such a babbler and I am so boring this evening. Haven't really been on here much this weekend! So I will update you on what Ive been up to.....

• Last wednesday...went to the bar..tried to break up a fight between friends (guys)..got punched and thrown on the ground by a 250+bigboy...kinda shocked .. because I am a huge fan of fights..love to see them.. so.. not sure why I tried to break it up..I better not be gettin nice ;) 


• Friday night..went to a friends party. A lil bit of a different crowd..kinda gothic...kinda scared is what I was. I dont mean to stereotype by any means..because they are all super nice ..but ...shiiiit I was scared OK


•  Saturday night...went to another friends party..it was a weekend filled with birthdays ..nothing excited at all happened on sat night...we usually end up going to the same bar every weekend, so technically we are considered regulars..kinda sad. But for some reason..other than us (the tanks) there are a lot of older people that feel the need to shake their asses on the dance floor and make fools of themselves. Pure entertainment...I could go to a bar and watch people dance all night..no need to talk to anyone..just watch.

Another thought that has come to me...Halloween Costume. Everyone was talking this weekend about what they were going to be...I have honestly never dressed up..always wanted to do but never really done it. There's not too many days left before the parties begin..Wow I think its next weekend?? Maybe I'll be a gangsta.

Well I hope everyone had a great weekend...I'm kinda bummed I dont get tomorrow off..since it is Columbus Day!!!

just a thought

Have you ever thought of how one thing could change your whole life? If you could go back in time and change anything would you? Such a random thought...but for some reason I just started thinking about it. Like if I wouldn't have went out with DoggyDaddy(the ex) for 8 years...where would I be right now? Would I be with someone else? If I would have went to college right after high school where would I be? I would be done with school and doin who knows what. Jobs that I've had...if I was still there? Mistakes that I've made...stupid things I've done....are they really mistakes or are they things that actully make me who I am? The saying " everything happens for a reason".... Is that really true or does it just happen without a reason...nothing really ever makes sense you just have to go with it ....because a lot of things technically you don't have a choice. Anyways my whole point is its insane how life is when you really thiink about it....I mean reallly really think about it?

I mean I'm just saying ya'll..... ;)

1234 Looney Street Apt. ADD

Well today was another appointment with the psych doctor...she thought I was a nut!! very observant woman! todays testing was more "school" related they called it..aka kindergarten WoW that shit makes me feel like an idiot! I'm almost tempted to quit going because the more I find out about this stupid issue of mine ..the worse it makes me feel. Not depressed or anything ..but shit cock balls yall ...she read me a story and told me to say it back to her...and I didnt have a clue what she said!! It was a story about uhhh the dog jumped over the fence and went down the street and blah blah..not fun. This is a major problem...I dont like it ..first of all walking in the office is bad enough its in a weird neighborhood ...I go after hours because of work..so I guess thats when the people go that don't want anyone to see them go there...screw that I want everyone to see me going into the crazy building...they dont know if I'm gonna snap on them or not so they stay away..anyways these people in the office are there for other reasons than I am ...no reason..just guessing ;) The math part comes up...I'm fine with adding and subtracting..but when ya throw in the stuff I'm already failing in my algebra class...you can forget it..I stared at the page for a minute and that was it..she said let's move on...Good idea sista! Then when I'm leaving there are these old men down the street and one of the guys didn't care I was coming out of the loopyville...he insisted on telling me I was cute and he wanted my number... I said go in there an ask them for it ...they can get it out of my file..I can't write it down for you..my arms are in this straight jacket =)

workin from the berry

Ok ok I might be getting obsessed.....let's see how this works...I got this blog app on my blackberry and its possibly goin to make my new blog addiction and just make my blackberry addiction even worse.....ohhh my

Here we go again ya'll.....

Maybe this is one of my symptoms of adhd??  I make a lot of blogs and then switch them around...I'm like a bloggin' gypsy!! If I ever get my own place I'll have to go with a P.O. box because I'll probably move around a lot!  Buuut with my paycheck...it will be a while before I have to worry about that?  Just a random thought...I lived with my boyfriend for 3 years...I asked him the other day...Hey darlin by any chance can I get my mail that's been sent to the house for the past couple months...he said ..oh there hasnt been any..bullshit ...he burnt every piece.  =) Have a great DAY!

What a BEAUTIFUL day!! Orig 09/28

B -E- A UUUUUtiful! After 2 days of sittin in the house being lazzy, I come out from under the blankets to see a verry pretty MONDAY! even though i hate mondays...this one feels weird..something about the sun shining ..its just nice!! Fall is here and changes are being made!!! Making changes is so hard, im thankful i have plenty of people to help me make the changes!! This past year my life has been a rollercoaster...one thing after another..and today...today is the day I see CHANGE in my future!!! I always start a blog and never write on it..i always say im going to start a lot of things..nothing ever gets done. Thats one of my changes..im gonna start doing stuff!!! well maybe ;) My middle name should have been procastination!! Let's see where this takes us.....WELCOME TO MY JOURNEY TO SELF DISCOVERY!

ME and DONNA MARTIN will Graduate!!

OK...here I am I've been busy..I actully have...until recently I really didnt know what it meant to be overwhelmed! I am about 2 months into college...pat on the back for me!!!! HELL YAH GO ME!!! It's not high school by any means..if I miss something on an assignment they dont call my parents and I dont get grounded!! Woohoo!! Anyways...90210 was(is) my favorite show...and if you can remember Donna Martin with her learning disability?? Well i've come to the conclusion...I am Donna Martin!!! I have not learned an absolute thing yet...I've done good on my assignments.. but there hasnt been much of a knowledge requirement yet.. As much as I hate admitting something is wrong.. I have taken matters into my own hands..aka trying to get some drugs! I went back to the psych doctor who tells me I'm bipolar and weird...and charges an arm and a leg and a hand a foot..and eyeball and nose..you get the picture. Well supposably they dont just hand out ADHD meds..well DUH! I am officially going to 2 psych doctors now..one thats gonna give me the pills baby and one that gives me tests that have 700 questions a sitting. I took the first one on Tuesday...it wasnt a hard test..basically asking stupid questions like do I get really hyper -YESSS!!- do i have a million thoughts going through my mind at one time -YESSS!!!- do i get really really excited and slur all my words together when I talk - YES!!!!- Say weird off the wall things? -YES!! (LOL HAHA)- Do I ever get the urge to kill someone? -NO!!!- That was literally a question..there were so many more like that ..I cant remember because my memory is shot..but seriously?? Is it an ADD test or is it a test thats going to put me in a straight jacket? By the time they grade my 700 question tests..I will already be flunked out of school...I'll flunk out knowing how many bricks are going up the wall and how many cracks are in the ceiling though! I'll keep you posted..hopefully I wont post a picture of me in a straight jacket!! =)

Let me introduce you.....

She smiles from ear to ear...she laughs obnoxiously ..she cries hysterically and she burps and farts then laughs about it!!! We are exactly alike..in every way! This lil booger has my whole heart!!! My niece-Bailey Shae...she's a one of a kind child...probably the coolest kid ever! How could you not be obsessed with someone that laughs at your jokes even when they arent funny? Someone that can make the worst day turn into the best? Someone that when your whole world is falling apart, you see their face and everything is ok!!! Everyone needs a Bailey! I could literally sit and talk to her all day...she's a great listener ;) I'm sure there will be plenty of blogs about her..she is of course..the light of my life ..heres a pic of perfection...there's no doubt in my mind you will disagree!