Cigarettes and Fingerbangs

I know I'm a lil bit new to blogging, and everyone probably already thinks I'm a couple nuggets short of a happy meal. But I'm learnin how to be appropriate. But before I go and get all grown up and mature, this is one story I think I need to share..not really anything to joke about but my story is, cause my whole life is a joke.  HAha laugh it up.  Anyways..I had my annual fingerbang appointment, yaddi yaddii no need for details but I ended up having to go back for a colposcopy..not to be confused with colonoscopy..but I've had one of those to. Back to it...I get to my appointment......hold on got add in a very important bit of info..I dont have health insurance..so I get to go to the free place...so I'm walking in all cocky..because the people in there make you not want to sit on the chairs..finally after sitting in the waiting room beside of a 17 year old girl that is making a list with her mom of who her baby daddy could be..not makin this up..her mom even had her little pocket calendar out trying to help her remember..

Finally I hear my name called...time to spread em. First I get weighed..and I try to convince the lady their scale is wrong..she said it's not..I said yes it is.  Blood pressure good.  Piss test...NEGATIVE!!!  WAHOO!! I walk out of the bathroom after I pissed on my hand..aka in the cup...the nurse is nowhere to be found.  I look around for anyone to tell me which room I will be getting some action in...there I see him..Dr McSteeeaaaaamy..boyyyy was he on fire.  At first I thought he was just a random dude in the office..I say excuse me hot stuff...oops I mean sSssir...have you seen my fingerbang nurse..he said mam go right in that room I will be there in a few minutes.  I freeeze for a second..and then I literally do a little schoolgirl skip into the white room.  I sit in there..fixing my hair..touching up my makeup..I even painted my toenails real quick and ...trimmed up my bikini line..those doctors take forever. 

Knock knock....Come in!!!! He introduces himself..I say it's very nice to meet you.  He explains the procedure..I stare into his eyes like we are on our first date.  I was kinda pretending it was...He makes a couple jokes..I do my flirty laugh..that has failed to work for me yet...and down to business we go.  I failed to mention that I already told the nurse in the room that I think he's hot and I was going to make him my boyfriend.  Skip to "put your pants back on mam"...I sit up and say....

"Shewwwww doc...I gotta tell ya..thats the farthest anyone has gotten with me without getting me drunk first"

NO LIE!! The nurse busts out laughing...and then calms herself  and gives me my clothes. He looks at me a little bit strangely...and says well I guess we are done here.  I'm all like...don't you wanna go outside and have a cigarette with me?  He's all like...no thanks.

 Needless to say..I think I may have been the talk of the office for the rest of the day...I've been back for a follow up since then..and he just can't seem to make eye contact with me...I dont know if it's because of our first date, or when I was talking to a girl in her office..I kinda called him out and said ohh look there goes my boyfriend!! Or maybe..just maybe ...it might be because I asked him to be my friend on facebook?? You be the judge!! Keep in mind he approved me and still hasnt deleted me after he's realized who I am...maybe he's just shy! ;)