So this is what its like.

It was expected. I knew it was going to be like this.. I knew it was gonna get harder. I knew I was going to have to give up more shit. I knew I was going to become anxious and possibly a little moody (not too bad).

I am overwhelmed.

Yup.. I have bit off more than I can chew. (no pun intended to my ability to eat all day)
It is only the end of September and I am already freakishly freaked out about what i am doing. I mess things up, I cant remember anything, I am a hot mess.

I am such a baby for complaining.. sometimes I just want to scream as loud as I can.. And welllll i do. But only when driving on the interstate. Its amazing.. Nobody looks because nobody can hear it. Do it.. It helps.

Anyways.. I have alot going on. And it sucks.. But it is soo worth it and i have learned that things arent going to change.. This is how it is going to be for awhile. I have no choice but to take deep breaths every chance I get and remind myself that..uhhh I got this shit.